Stuck in an unhappy relationship?
Afraid you’ll never find anyone better? Read this to overcome your fear of
singledom, and take happiness into your own hands.
“The fear of breaking up with someone
comes from the assumption that it’s better to be with someone than no one,”
says Lombardo. “If you’re miserable in a relationship, you’re better off not
being in a relationship at all. Your worth isn’t based on someone else hanging
out with you.”
Breaking up is hard to do, but here’s some tips for taking the
leap:
1. Keep talking to the people who love you. Make sure you maintain a great support network of friends
and family. Nothing makes breaking up seem scarier than feeling completely
isolated.
2. Try a reality check. It’s a cliché but it’s true: It’s better to be happy alone
than miserable with someone else.
3. Take time for yourself. Dr. Lombardo recommends pursuing the things you love and
focusing on your goals. “Just know that this time is for me to work on me,” she
says. Try volunteering, a new hobby or taking a course.
4. Don’t underestimate your gut feelings. After the hurt of breaking up, Jessica was pleased to feel
an enormous sense of relief. She made the right choice. “Now, I’m with a guy
who isn’t perfect, but who’s the perfect guy for me.”
5. Don’t drag it out once you’ve made a decision. For Erin, lessons learned enabled her to break off another
not-quite-right relationship a lot sooner. And the difference, she says, was
fewer hurt feelings all around.
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