How does cheating begin?
You have met someone new and the chemistry
between you two sends out sparks. You love spending time with this person and would give up almost
anything for another meeting or date. You start neglecting your present partner, do not have time
for them and suddenly start losing interest. The friendship with the
significant other is blossoming in to a full blown affair. In your heart you
know it is wrong but do not accept it. You start find faults with your present
relationship to justify your affair. You get into an extra marital affairs and soon you
are cheating on your partner. Controlling your feelings seems
impossible. Although you may feel guilty you continue your affair.
Why is it difficult to give up cheating?
It is hard to give up cheating because it is like an addiction. You know there is something that is bad but you like it. It is fulfilling some need. For example, if you seek intellectual stimulation and your partner is not providing that, you may find yourself getting attracted to somebody who is brainy and fulfills your mental needs. Every little text message, every call and every meeting becomes special, even if it is not going anywhere in the future. Your needs, emotional or physical, are being met by somebody else and you will find it difficult to give it up since you find it difficult to let go off all the stimulation and need fulfillment. You cannot suddenly deal with a vacuum within you. That is why you may find it very difficult to stop cheating.
It is hard to give up cheating because it is like an addiction. You know there is something that is bad but you like it. It is fulfilling some need. For example, if you seek intellectual stimulation and your partner is not providing that, you may find yourself getting attracted to somebody who is brainy and fulfills your mental needs. Every little text message, every call and every meeting becomes special, even if it is not going anywhere in the future. Your needs, emotional or physical, are being met by somebody else and you will find it difficult to give it up since you find it difficult to let go off all the stimulation and need fulfillment. You cannot suddenly deal with a vacuum within you. That is why you may find it very difficult to stop cheating.
How to stop cheating and stay faithful
Difficult as it may feel and be, it is not an impossible task. Even after one quits smoking, he goes through painful feelings but certainly survives. You will live too, that too a good life. Stopping yourself from cheating can mean saving lot of trouble and instability. You have to stop something that is wrong. Here are a few ways that can help you stop cheating and stay faithful to your partner.
Difficult as it may feel and be, it is not an impossible task. Even after one quits smoking, he goes through painful feelings but certainly survives. You will live too, that too a good life. Stopping yourself from cheating can mean saving lot of trouble and instability. You have to stop something that is wrong. Here are a few ways that can help you stop cheating and stay faithful to your partner.
1.
Remove yourself from the temptation. Just like I need to get the article
of clothing out of my sight, you need to step away from the guy who's making
you drool. Try to avoid any situation where you might see him, and definitely
avoid any one-on-one time. You're clearing your mind, and he clouds it.
2. Set a time limit to think it over. Agree that for two weeks or longer,
you will go about your normal life without the other man and see how you feel
about it.
3. __Assess the situation.__After your set
time limit, are you still constantly thinking about ripping off the new guy's
clothes, or longing to spend time with him? Or have you forgotten about him and
remembered why your boyfriend is worth giving up a hot affair for?
4. Take action. If you've managed to put the other guy out of your mind,
great. Mentally recommit yourself to your relationship, and move on with your
life. Don't make this a repeat process though. Attractions happen, but you
shouldn't be nearly cheating with every guy you meet. On the other hand, if
you've really thought about it and you just have to be with the other guy,
figure out a way to make it happen. And by that, I mean, end your relationship
first, and respectfully. Yes, you'll still hurt your guy by leaving him, but it
will be a lot less awful than leaving him, betraying his trust, making him feel
stupid, and publicly humiliating him (um, especially if you're both famous).
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