When you’re considering a
break up, you need to ask yourself a few questions to understand your own mind.
Can you really handle the break up and can you stay firm with your decision.
Are
you thinking about leaving your lover? Are you getting in your own way when it
comes to making a decision?
you need to follow these(below)
to end a relationship the right way.
1 .Don‘t avoid your partner
before breaking up. Most lovers who want to end a
relationship try to avoid their partner and distance themselves with silly
excuses. Understand that your partner deserves to know what’s going on in your
mind and has every right to know the truth about your feelings.
You can express your views that you’re not happy in the
relationship, but you should never ignore your partner’s calls or avoid them in
person.
At times, it may just be a phase or a misunderstanding that
created all the differences. Before you seriously consider ending the
relationship, give it some time to see if both of you can better your
relationship and make it work first.
2.
Having the conversation. Call your partner and tell
them you need to talk about something important. Don’t elaborate on what the
discussion is about, but make it clear that you want to talk about the
relationship.
You can meet your partner at your place or at a fairly silent
restaurant or a coffee shop. Always remember to do it face to face. Speaking
over the phone seems so much easier, but it’s insulting to the relationship.
3. The
breakup conversation. If you don’t know how to break up with
someone you love, you can use the first few lines of this conversation, and the
rest will follow…
You: There’s something I’ve wanted to talk about for a while,
but I just didn’t know how to bring it up.
Partner: What is it?
You: I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m very happy with the way
things are going in our relationship.
Partner: What? / WTF?! / Are you serious? / Why?
You: I’ve given this a lot of thought over the last few weeks
and we’ve spoken about our differences too, but it just doesn’t seem to be
getting better. These constant conflicts are actually making both our lives
painful and miserable. Maybe there’s no way forward here and we just have to
accept it. Perhaps we’re perfect individuals but not really perfect for each
other.
Partner: What are you trying to say? / Where are you going with
this?
You: I think it would be best if we go our separate ways. Both
of us are obviously not happy in this relationship even though we love each
other…
4.Explain
the reasons. The breakup conversation tip mentioned in the earlier step
would definitely help, but it’s not enough. If you really want to break up with
the one you love and end it wholeheartedly, you need to get into the specific
details.
It may hurt, but at least you’ll be able to tell your partner
how you feel. Explain the real reason behind why you want to end the
relationship, but try not to infuriate your partner by bringing up touchy
issues. You’re trying to break up with the one you love, and you should learn
to do it gracefully without picking faults.
5.
Walking out of the relationship. Once you’ve patiently
explained the reasons in a calm voice, and both of you have decided to end the
relationship, you need to walk out of the relationship without bearing any ill
will towards each other.
You may feel a wave of overwhelming relief and yet, a painful
realization that you’ve just broken up with someone you love. It’s normal to
feel conflicting emotions, so don’t worry about it. Decide whether you want to
stay as friends or whether you’d like to avoid each other for a while until the
wounds can heal.
In either case, staying as friends would only feel more painful,
so I’d suggest you give each other some space, at least for a few months.
6 Final
goodbyes. You may now know how to break up with the one you love, but
there are still a few tricky issues like having sex for the last time or the
last special kiss.
Avoid getting physical for the last time, it’s just pointless
and can lead to confusing affairs. But if you do want to share one last kiss,
contrary to what many other love experts say, I’d say go for it. A final kiss
and a warm hug can seem weird and bring back memories of the old times, but it
can help both of you understand the finality of the situation if you’re both
really ready to let go.
It’s just like death. Saying goodbye to a dying person can
actually make everything feel more peaceful on the inside. But at the same
time, a sudden separation with no goodbyes can traumatize you for months.
Once you’ve broken up with your lover, walk away with a smile
and leave each other warmly. Both of you may be terrible as a couple, but
you’re both wonderful individuals.
And if you ever miss your ex, avoid calling them up or texting
them. It won’t help you, and it definitely won’t help your partner with whom
you’ve ended the relationship.
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